I don’t even want to know….

I had a strange dream this morning — I’m not sure I care to know what it “means” or what was on my mind that would come out in a dream like this one!  I do believe this one goes beyond the category of BAZAAR!!!

I started out in my kitchen talking to Laura, an old friend from high school.  I told her that I was invited to a convention by a guy I was seeing (Vinny – and for the record, I don’t believe I know any Vinnys) and asked her if she wanted to go with me because I was sure I wouldn’t know anyone there!  She agreed, so we got all gussied up and headed to the convention.

When we got there, we knew right away that this was a very different kind of convention.  It was held at a large, dark, eerie looking mansion set way back from the road.  The many acres of property surrounding the mansion was secured by high chain link fencing with barbed wire at the top and a locked gate.  I told the guard who I was and who invited me.  He was very pleasant and welcomed us and thanked me for bringing a potential new member to their ladies auxillary club.  I got a blue stamp with “LA” on my hand and Laura got a red stamp with “visitor” on her hand.  Laura and I just looked at each other and laughed and shrugged our shoulders.

We walked up the long path to the mansion and entered through the front door.  A lady met us to give us name tags and told us where to go.  She gave Laura a nod and said “we’re so glad to have some new ass”.  Laura asked me what she was talking about and I told her that I had no idea and that we need to find Vinny to find out what he invited me to! 

We entered the hall and it was full of people that would make the Corleones and Sopranos look like the Nelsons and the Cleavers…..it was obviously a Mofia convention – there were guns everywhere and a “council” table with the other guests filing by kissing rings and offering gifts to a group of very “Godfather” looking men!!!  I looked around and asked where Vinny was.  I was told that he sent his regrets and told them that I would be representing him and that they were so happy to see I brought a friend!

Laura and I decided we really should get out of there – fast – but we couldn’t find the door.  I asked someone where the ladies room was (so we could get out of the room and find a way out of there) but was told that there was no time for that and to take our seats cause the program was about to start.

We sat down and the announcer asked for all current members of the Ladies Auxillary to come down to the front to help with the initiation of new members.  I watched as several women got up and headed to the front.  A man sitting next to me noticed the “LA” on my hand and told me to go with the rest of the ladies.  I looked at my hand and realized that the “LA” meant ladies auxillary.  I said I would rather stay with my friend and just watch – to which I was told that was not an option and that I’d better learn to cooperate!!  Laura and I looked at each other with a mixture of concern and fear on our faces.  I went to the front and joined the others.

The next people invited to the front were all the single male members of the convention.  They were all dressed in very expensive looking tuxedos.  One of the other ladies rolled out a rack of wedding dresses.  Then the members seated in the hall were grabbing the arms of any ladies sitting near them with a “visitor” stamp on their hands and began to drag them down to the front.  They stood there with a man with a gun holding them by the arm as the announcer informed them that they could pick whichever wedding gown they liked and to go get changed while they select which bachelor they would be paired with for the wedding ceremony!  Laura looked at me with a “what the hell did you get me into” look on her face!!! 

I yelled out that there must be some kind of mistake – I didn’t know what was going to happen when Vinny invited me and I just asked Laura to come because I wanted someone here I could talk to – I didn’t know this was going to happen and she shouldn’t be included.  Then she spoke up and said she is already married, so she can’t participate!!!!   We were told very sternly to shut up and behave ourselves!!!  I told them, again, to let Laura go — I said that I’m not married to Vinny and I hardly even know him, so if they let Laura go, I will take her place.  I was, again, told to shut up and a man with a gun came to stand beside me – they also told me that no laws apply inside these gates, so her current marriage is not recognized.  Laura told them that she is Italian and her “family” will not be happy with this.  They all laughed and said they know her “family” and they would definitely understand and that she is even more desirable because she IS Italian…..

A few of the “visitors” turned and bolted out of the hall (gee – they found the door….) and a crowd with guns followed them.  In the confusion, I was able to go stand by Laura and we watched to see if the other girls could get away.  Some were grabbed and some got close to the fence and were shot — two made it past the gates and the mob stopped and turned around to come back. 

We realized that if we could just get outside the gates where laws prevent them from holding us, we would be safe.  So, we made a run for it!!!  I was grabbed and held – Laura turned to see what happened to me and I told her to keep going — just as I saw her make it through the gates to safety, I woke up!!!! 

Man — how weird was that?????

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