Mother’s Day…..it just isn’t the same, anymore! Instead of being a day of joy, love, and celebration, it is just another Sunday…..like any other, except that I am not able to ignore the fact that something is missing and that my heart is breaking…..yet, again!
My grandmother has been gone 22 years last month and my Mom just one year, also this April. I didn’t have the joy of shopping for just the right card, gift, and flowers for them. I won’t take them out to dinner. And, I won’t get to hug them and thank them for all the things they have done to mold me into the woman I am today…..because of them! Instead, I went to the cemetery after church and wished them a Happy Mother’s Day and told them I love and miss them. I laid a carnation on Mom’s stone…..the carnation that was given to me at church to commemorate this special Sunday.
This will be the “year of seconds”……we just competed a year of “firsts” – special days and memories made without Mom. I realized that when I thought about this being the first Mother’s Day without her…..but, quickly remembered that it is actually my second one! Hard to believe…..a whole year has gone by – in one way, it still hurts like it was yesterday – in another way, it feels like an eternity since I have been able to see her pretty face and hear her voice!
But……even though there will be no joyous celebration with corsages and dinners out, I still celebrate both of these amazing women…..I love and miss them more than words can possible convey!
This Sunday also marks another missed celebration……May 14th is also my Dad’s birthday. He has been gone for 18 years and would have been 78 years old, today. My visit to Mount Albion Cemetery included time wishing him a Happy Birthday, as well, so it is a triple whammy day for me!
But, life goes on……it is a gorgeous day and I plan to spend it with a dear friend trying to not think about what I “could” have been doing, today. Aside from honoring their memory this morning, I do not plan to dwell on it. After my little visit, I drove around the cemetery looking at all the stunning trees in full bloom! Mount Albion is always amazingly beautiful, but is especially so in the spring with all the cherry and dogwood trees and in the fall with the vivid autumn colors. It warmed my heart to see God’s beauty everywhere I looked.
Here is a taste of that I saw:
…and they would be proud.
I hope so!