Remembering My Poppie….

To explain why this man was so very special to me, I have to back up and start with a little history. My “father” – the one who supplied part of my DNA – left us when I was a very young little girl and hasn’t been around since just a little after that time. To say that I wouldn’t recognize him if I passed him on the street is probably stretching it a little, but the truth isn’t far from that! Now – in contrast to that, my “Dad” – the one who meant the world to me and was my Dad in every sense of the word that matters – was this man – Charlie Culmo! We affectionately nicknamed him “Poppie”. Charlie passed away on this day (March 20th) in 1999. I can’t believe he has been gone for 9 years now! I still miss him terribly. After all this time, I still forget I can’t just call him and he’ll be there!

Charlie officially came into our lives when I was in high school. He was my friend and my hero – he was my Poppie!!! He was a family friend long before he started dating my Mom, so when they decided to get together, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world – it all just clicked!!!

Some of the great memories I have of him:

~~ “Our” song was Teddy Bear Song by Barbara Fairchild. It was a great country song to slow dance to and whenever we would hear it, we would dance. Regardless of who we were with or what was going on, we wouldn’t dance to this song with anyone else – it was OUR’s! It had a sort of “two step” beat to it, so it was a nice song to dance to and Charlie was a really good dancer. From then on, teddy bears tended to be a symbol of what we meant to each other – I even put a teddy bear figurine in his casket that said “you will always be close at heart”! (if you’d like to hear it and read the lyrics, click on the song title to link to a page that will take you there)

~~ He was 100% pure Italian and a really great cook — he would make us pasta to die for!!! He would make the best lasagna and, knowing that I am allergic to cheese, he would make a special pan just for me without cheese! And it was so good – even without the one thing that makes it real lasagna – because it was made with love!

~~ He didn’t really speak Italian, but his parents did and he knew some Italian. He would throw Italian sounding words around to crack us up – we never knew if some of them were real or made up (most were supposedly cuss words), but they always made us laugh. When he first made pasta for us, he was in our kitchen and asked us for a “skoolabasta” (I am absolutely positive I didn’t spell that right, but that’s how it sounded – ha-ha)!! My brother and I looked at each other with weird expressions and had no idea what he wanted!!! He said “skoolabasta, skoolabasta – you know, macaroni stay, water go away!” in a put on Italian accent! That puzzled us even more! Mom finally went to the cupboard and got the COLANDER so he could strain the pasta!!! ha-ha That became a standing joke with us for many, many years!!!! I still call a colander a “skoolabasta – macaroni stay, water go away”!!!! At the funeral, my brother and I told the minister that story to add to the others he had to tell during the eulogy — he was reading his notes and tried to pronounce the word and totally messed it up — all of Charlie’s brothers chimed in with a chorus of “skoolabasta” to let the room know what the minister was talking about and then we all recited along with the minister when he said the part about “macaroni stay, water go away”!!! Every one laughed and smiled — Charlie would have LOVED that — I bet he was watching and cracking up at us all!!!!

~~ He never, ever treated us like or referred to us as “step children” — and we never, ever thought of him as a “step father” — we were his kids and he was our Dad!!! PERIOD!!!!

~~ He was there for every major event from high school on — graduation, 18th birthday, parties, giving his opinion on my boyfriends, etc………………and – he gave me away at my wedding!!! He told me that it was the one most precious time for him! He was so proud to perform that duty for me and it was very, very special………..but, truth be told, it was much more so for me!!! Girls dream of their weddings from the time they are very small – I was no exception. But, when I dreamed of my wedding, my dreams didn’t have a “Father of the Bride”! I always planned to have my brother give me away – which was perfectly fine and the plan for many years! But, when the time came for me to plan the wedding for “real”, Charlie was there and I did end up having a “Father of the Bride” after all!!!! I called my brother and told him that I had always planned to have him do the honors, but hoped that my asking Charlie to do it wouldn’t hurt his feelings — he loved Charlie very much, too, and responded with “yeah – who else would you ask!!!” So, it was done! And I adore the photos of us walking down the aisle together and the memories I have of my Poppie and his little girl all dressed up………….So, he thought I was honoring him — but, actually, he was honoring me!!! I’ll always cherish that!!!

~~ He built computers in his spare time. He kept me in computer upgrades for years!!! We often joked about how when he retired, we could go into business together — he would be the hardware geek and I would be the software geek and together we could solve every one’s computer problems!!!

~~ The one thing that I was excited about him sharing with me was when I had my LASIK surgery! Mom sent me the money to have it done and I did it in February 1999. He was so happy for me — every time we talked, he would ask me “how does everything look to ya?” or something similar!!! I had a trip planned to visit with them in April and he told me all the time how he couldn’t wait to see me with no glasses and no squinting!!! But – he died in March!

There was so much more — years and years of fabulous memories and zillions of little things he did with and for me!!! I could go on forever…………but, won’t! The one thing I am most happy and proud of is that I don’t have a regret in the world when it comes to him — I will never have to say that there was something important left unsaid! I know without a shadow of a doubt that he knew exactly what he meant to me and I knew exactly what I meant to him!!! I will never have to say that I wish I hadn’t let so much time go by without speaking to him – I actually talked to him on the phone the morning he died – I called him to ask him some computer question and he said he was feeling kinda tired. Later that day, he died of a massive heart attack at age 59! He would have been 60 in May.

So – now he is one of my three guardian angels – Poppie, Grandma, and Grandpa! The three of them watch over me and let me know they are here with me by warming my heart whenever I think of them or something happens that makes me think of them. And they visit me in my dreams and I get to have a chat with them and hug them!

I was sad most of the day today — thinking of him every time I had to write the date and other things triggered memories! Oh, how I hope he will visit me in my dreams tonight — I sure could use a hug from him to help warm up my heart!!!!

That’s my Poppie — I miss him, I love him, he will always be close at heart!!!!

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