Archive | May 2011

Strange Dream

May28

I had another of my famously strange dreams this morning.  I went to bed early last night because I was so tired.  Then, about 4:30 I was wide awake.  The girls thought it was morning and wanted to go out to take care of business, so I got up and on the computer.  After about an hour, we all went back to bed to finish the night and try to sleep in – after all, it was Saturday!  Some time between going back to bed and waking up again at 8:00, this dream happened…….one of the oddest I think I’ve ever had!

So, this is how it went.  I was in a meeting that wasn’t going well.  I didn’t recognize any of the people in the meeting, but they all seemed to dislike me a LOT and weren’t paying any attention to my presentation and as soon as it was over, they bolted out the door without any reaction or interaction with me at all.  I stood there in shock and started to get upset.  Two ladies I didn’t recognize came up to talk to me.  We acted like we knew each other very well and I told them how upset I was and I started crying.  They went into a rant about how I should just forget about “those idiots” and chalk it up to ignorance.  I started feeling better and grabbed one of the donuts left on the tray from the meeting.  I bit into it and noticed what looked like a string inside.  As I looked closer, I could see it was moving.  I immediately spit out the bite that was in my mouth.  The ladies looked closely as I pulled it out of the donut and discovered a very large worm and it was ALIVE and wiggling around!  We all shuddered and were sickened at the thought that it was in the catered meeting food!  About half way down this large worm (and when I say large, I mean LARGE – it was easily 2-3 feet long and as big around as tube of chapstick) there was a bulge.  The skin of the worm was stretched very thin and we could see through it to see what was causing the bulge.  It was a tiny piglet!  Apparently, the worm ate this baby piglet and it wasn’t digested, yet.  (yes, I know – worms don’t eat stuff like that, but this one did and it is my dream, so that surely explains it!)  So, we just happened to have a scalpel handy and I very carefully sliced open the worm’s skin to retrieve the piglet.  It was very tiny — as oddly small as the worm was oddly large — it was barely over an inch long and maybe 1/2 as big around as it was long – just round enough to create an obvious bulge in the large worm.  When I  got the piglet out, it was all curled up and felt warm to the touch.  I put my finger on the chest and felt a very faint heart beat!  It was alive – barely!  We all got happy and excited that we just may have saved the little piglet’s life!  We talked quickly about what we should do.  I said that I should take it to Dr. Cindy – she’ll know what to do!  So, I wrapped it in a wash cloth and ran to All Animals Veterinary Hospital and told them I had an emergency for Dr. Cindy!  Dr. Cindy confirmed the piglet was still alive, but in distress.  She said they would do what they could and that she was hopeful that they could save it.  She said I needed to decide what I wanted to do with the piglet if it lives.  Without any thought at all, I said “of course, I’ll take it home and raise it!”  I woke up just about that moment………not sure if the piglet survived, but I’m glad I woke up before I totally committed to bringing a pig home to live with me and the girls!  Can’t imagine how THAT would have gone!!!  haha

Alarm Clocks Are EVIL

May25

I hate alarm clocks…….there, I said it!  They are intrusive, irritating, and mean!  They are EVIL!  They jolt me awake long before I am ready and quite often interrupt a dream I would prefer not get interrupted.  And to make matters worse, most of the time they wake me to the sound of some obnoxious song I don’t particularly like that then ends up playing over and over and over in my head ALL DAY LONG!!!!  But, the alternative is that ear-piercing repetitive BEEPING sound that just grates on my nerves and starts my day off feeling totally violated.

But, much to my dismay, they are a necessary evil.  I do have an internal alarm clock and three four-legged alarm clocks that tend to not allow me to sleep much past 7:00 am, but they all aren’t always dependable – and I do have to be sure I get up early enough to shake off the sleepiness, get a shower and do other primping and prepping, let the girls do their business, feed the girls, goof around checking emails and Facebook, read the paper, and get to work on time.  When I don’t get up early enough to do all those things, I start the day feeling rushed and disorganized.

I do, however, have a favorite part of the alarm clock that I find rather rewarding……..the snooze button.  I slap that button the first 4 or 5 times the alarm goes off so that I feel like I’m being defiant and telling the alarm clock that I am still the boss and I tell IT when I’m going to get up!  It is my little way of privately showing off my disobedient and naughty side each day.  But, the last couple of days I have been less in love with my snooze button.

Sunday night, I noticed that my alarm clock’s LED was acting funky.  It no longer displayed the time in a readable manner.  I tried unplugging it and plugging it back in.  I tried resetting it.  Nothing made the time show up properly.  Then, I tried just seeing if the alarm would come on by hitting that button that allows you to check it for sound.  Nothing!  I tried turning on the radio portion – again, nothing!  So, I came to the realization that my alarm clock DIED!  My first thought was to dance around the room singing “Ding, Dong, the witch is dead”, but soon sprung back to reality and the fact that I needed that witch to work the next morning.

I got out a small travel alarm clock I bought some time ago, but have never used, and set it and went to sleep.  I figured it will do until I can get to the store to buy a new regular alarm clock.  When the time came for it to go off on Monday morning, I was pleasantly surprised – the sound that woke me up was a low tone steady beep – not that usual blaring or clanging sound that comes from most non-music alarm clocks.  I smiled and hit the snooze (hey, the sound may have been more pleasant, but I was still going to steal those extra minutes).  Then the reason for the snooze button’s fall from grace happened.  The alarm clock went off again and I thought “that didn’t feel like 8 minutes to me”!  When I looked at the time, only FOUR minutes had passed!  REALLY????  Four minutes?????  What kind of snooze session is that?  You can’t even get comfortable again in four minutes!!!  After a couple of those, I just give in and get out of bed – no sense in lying there hitting that thing every four minutes.

So, I will be making sure I get out there and buy a new alarm clock………anyone know of one that I can program to only go off when a song I don’t mind having play in my head all day is playing?

Planning For The Future

May23

Planning for the future can be a complicated topic.  It means different things for different people.  It even could mean different things for the same person at different times in their life or in certain circumstances.  Future planning can include events like birthday parties, where to go on vacation, what college to attend, who and when to marry, family size, career aspirations, and ultimately, retirement.  Some people are casual planners and some take planning very seriously and put a lot of time and effort into it.  And, then, there are those who rarely plan for anything and just take things as they come.

I, for one, am a serious planner.  When I need to make a decision or plan for something, I research it to death and think it through to the Nth degree.  That’s not to say that I am indecisive or have difficulty putting a plan together.  Quite the contrary.  I find thinking it through and understanding all the variables helps me come to an informed decision that I am comfortable with and the result is a plan that I can live with and rarely run into a curve ball that I’m not prepared for.

That being said, I have been giving a lot of thought to my future lately – in particular what I want to do in regard to my retirement, which is still a way off, but something I really need to start serious planning for.   I don’t know if it is because of certain things that are going on in my life and my family or if it is just something that most people start to do at my age, but I came to the realization that I needed to start making plans and acting on them – regardless of how far off I think actual retirement may be.  I’ve known for several years that if I couldn’t talk Mom into moving down here, I would eventually move back up to my home town to be near her.  But, lately, it has become so much more than that – an intense feeling that I need to make the move and make it work – a sense of belonging.  It is obvious to me that it is time to set some wheels in motion.  So, the end result has been decided, which is a big load off my mind!  The only part that is still unknown and subject to several factors is the timing – when will the right time to retire be?  Obviously, there are a lot of things that need to be considered and my finances are a huge piece of that!  But, that’s OK – so long as I work towards the end goal and make progress along the way, the timing will work itself out when the time is right.  I just don’t want to get to the point that the timing is right, but I’m not ready and have to push it out until I am ready!  I’d much rather have everything in place and waiting for me!  hahaha

I took a big step in the last few weeks to set some of those wheels in motion.  One big detail needed to be worked out in my mind so that I knew how it fit into the over all plan.  Do I wait and figure out the details of getting a house after I work the timing out or do I start figuring that out sooner rather than later, even if that might mean an unknown duration of maintaining two homes?  The pros and cons are endless and took a lot of soul-searching and deep thought.  So, in keeping with my tendency to research things to death, I decided to do some exploratory work while I was home on vacation the end of April.  I thought it might help if I knew what types of homes were available in the area and what my money might get me – if and when I’m ready.  So, I spent hours looking at realtor.com, trulia.com, and other web sites to see what was listed and the price ranges.  Then, I contacted a high school friend who owns a real estate business in Albion to seek out some advice and gave him a long list of homes I wanted to go see while I was up on vacation.  Even though I told him I wasn’t necessarily ready to consider actually buying anything, yet, he was great and spent a lot of time with me going over all the options.  Between the homes he took me to see and some open houses I popped in on, I probably saw about 20 houses in a few short days!  Intense!  But, I got a real good sense of the market in the area and what I might be able to get in the price range I was thinking was right for me.  What I wasn’t really prepared for was what I would do if I found something I really loved?  It is really early in the plan, so do I jump on it or wait and see if something else comes along further into the plan?

Well, I did fall in love with a house – a very modern home with an amazing kitchen!  So, the torment began — and so did the pros and cons lists!  First, it was above the top end of the price range my calculations said I would be comfortable with, but still within my reach.  Second, I wasn’t really sure I was ready — I was only exploring options with no intention of jumping in with both feet, just yet!  It would be very tight financially for an undetermined duration.  This was a huge decision!  I wasn’t sure I was ready, but I couldn’t stand the thought of passing up this house and the potential of not finding something I’d love as much later on.  So, I thought it through and after much consideration, I got pre-approved and put in an offer.  But, it didn’t work out – just wasn’t in the cards – and I was so disappointed!

But, as fate would have it, the very day I finally decided to just walk away from that option, another house popped up on the web sites that caught my eye.  It was totally different and not like any home that usually grabs me.  But, I couldn’t stop looking at it – the pictures showed an adorable Cape Cod with bright, inviting rooms and what looked like a really good layout and flow from room to room and some really lovely features.  Unfortunately, I was already back in NC, so couldn’t go see it in person.  I asked my brother to go look at it and see if he thought it was something I should see for myself.  He did and called me all excited and recommended I go see it.  So, I booked a flight for a fast weekend trip.  I instantly knew it was the one — the feeling was totally different from the “wow factor” I experienced in the other home — it was more like an “aaahhh, I’m home” feeling!  Instant comfort!  I had already gone through the “should I do it now” struggle, so it was an easy decision, this time.  I could see myself in every corner of the house and imagined the potential for making it my own – I’m already decorating it in my head.  It looks like a lovely cottage and I can’t imagine living anywhere else in my retirement years!  So – I put in an offer and it was accepted!  It was obviously meant to be – for it to be listed the very day I decided the other one just wasn’t in the cards – for me to feel so comfortable and at home in it – for the offer process to go so smoothly – for the “is it the right time” struggle to already be done – for the price to be so much more comfortable – it is the right home at the right time!  Of course, until closing, there are things that could still go wrong and derail it.  If that is the case, I will be crushed, but I’ll just keep looking and know that something else even better will come along………but, I sure hope it doesn’t come to that because this one is perfect!!!  {coy smile}

So — here is the “sale pending” sign in front of my future home (my soon to be second home, until such time as I am ready to retire – however long that may take).  Funny how a simple little sign can put such a huge smile on my face:

It takes a leap of faith…..

May9

I am in the middle of making a life altering decision – one that I am not prepared to share at this time, but those who are closest to me and those involved in the process know what it is.  I have a goal and a plan, but some of the details and in between stuff is a little out of my control.  The out of my control part is what makes me nervous because this is huge and it is difficult to plan around variables that you can’t control.  However, I am ultimately in control of the end result – I take comfort in that.

And……I have the faith, determination, and passion that can will make it work – no matter what twists and turns I may have to maneuver around.  I have faced difficult life decisions in the past and, while they may not have always gone exactly as planned, the end result always worked out because I knew where I was going and basically how I wanted to get there.  When I put my mind to something and want it bad enough……I make it work!

So, how am I preparing for and working through this decision?  First, I made sure I had the end goal fixed – this has been known for quite some time, but I wasn’t sure until recently how I would make it happen and what time frame I was considering.  Then, I went into research and planning mode – big time!  Thinking every option through to the smallest detail.  Spending many sleepless nights going over “what if” scenarios in my mind.  Creating pros and cons lists upon pros and cons lists upon pros and cons lists.  Then, I made my plans known to those who may be able to help with the variables, talked it through with family and friends who could help ensure I’m not overlooking something important, and relied on support and advice where appropriate.  It has gotten a lot easier to work through since I stopped trying to think it through all on my own.

Now, I just need to work out a few little details before putting the first big ball into motion…….then, all I’ll need to do is tackle the variables as they come – with the same faith, determination, and passion that got me this far!

That first big ball is very scary…………………..and very exciting…………………and very important!  I can’t wait to finish with the decisions needed to get it rolling so I can breathe again!